


Footprints in the Sand

by Animebaby00



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Backstory, Cancer, Crying, Death, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Mother's Day, Mpreg, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omega Verse, Parent Death, Sad Victor Nikiforov, Supportive Katsuki Yuuri, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24114049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animebaby00/pseuds/Animebaby00
Summary: It's now early May and Springtime in Hasetsu. After staying home from a strange illness for the last 3 days, Yuuri has begun to notice a change in Victor's behavior and soon becomes deeply concerned for him when he suddenly goes into what seems like an emotional downward spiral. But when Victor won't open up and talk to him, it leaves Yuuri to figure things out for himself, eventually discovering a void that has had Victor trapped in darkness and despair...for the last 11 years.( Inspired and credited to dance performance of Derek Hough and Bindi Irwin from Dancing With the Stars and performance by Attraction from Britain's Got Talent to Leona Lewis' Footprints in the Sand)
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 21
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone ! This is my first story on AO3 !  
> So the timing of me publishing this story is off because of me only recently getting accepted to write stories on here so I'll explain the layout below.
> 
> This story is written to be a week long celebration for Mother's Day, starting on the 3rd of May and ending on May 10th. Every day, I am going to publish a chapter for this story, following the week leading up to Mother's Day. However, I won't post a chapter on the 8th or 9th due to the layout I have intended for the story. Please consider some of the tags of the story. If any of the topics are sensitive to you or you don't like them, please DO NOT READ. 
> 
> But if you are okay with them, then I hope you enjoy ! ( I do not own Yuri on Ice or any of it's characters)
> 
> ( Thoughts or sound effects are 𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 )

Sunday, May 3rd, 4:00 P.M. Yu-Topia

"And he's been like that for the last 3 days ?" Phichit inquired, causing the black haired Japanese male on his phone screen to sigh. 

"Yeah....I just wish I could do something to help him. But I can't if he doesn't tell me what's wrong."

"Have you tried...discussing things with him? Sitting him down to talk?" 

"Yes. A few times actually. But each time the answer is the same. He's "fine" or "just tired" or "has alot on his mind". I'm not buying it." 

"Well maybe he just needs some time. I remember on countless occasions the times you went through fighting your own demons back when we trained together in Detroit. Sometimes we wouldn't have a real conversation for days. Then you would wake up one morning and suddenly you were back to normal."

The Japanese male sighed again, fixing the blue frames that sat on the bridge of his nose. "I guess...but that happening to me, weird and sad as it is, fits my personality. It's how I've always been. But Victor ? He's NEVER been like this before. And it's...really starting to worry me. I wonder if this is how he feels when I get into one of my moods..." He trailed off.

Phichit bit his lip, "I wish I could help you out more." 

This caused the Asian male to smile softly 

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll figure something out." He paused, "You know, it always amazes me on how many more things I'm able to notice about him now that we're bonded and married. Never in million years would I thought I'd understand Victor the way I do now...in the exception for what's been going on currently." 

"Well duh." Phitchit, deadpanned. "You two are practically soul mates. Your whole relationship might as well be written as a romantic love story. I can see it now 'The story of Russian alpha Victor Nikiforov and omega Yuuri Katsuki tells a beautiful tale about love on the ice'. Can you IMAGINE how good that would sell?" 

Yuuri blinked, "...I'm not sure if I want to."

The Thai male shrugged in playful defeat, "Oh well. It was worth a shot. Pretty creative idea though right ?" 

Yuuri laughed. If there was one think Phitchit never lacked in, it was entertainment. 

They talked for a little while longer until Yuuri noticed the time. 

"Sorry, Phitchit. I would love to talk more, but I have to go. Victor will be back from the rink any minute and I should probably greet him." 

"Haha...gotcha. If you want to talk about anything later or if you have any updates with him, let me know, okay ?"

"For sure." 

"See you later, Yuuri."

"Bye, Phichit."

*𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘱

Yuuri sighed and laid back on his bed, looking at the sky from his open window. A chilly breeze rustled his curtains. Yet somehow, he could still feel the warm heat of the sun radiating on his skin. 

Even though it was the beginning of May, Spring still occasionally brought on a slight chill to the air. Winter was definitely over, the time when business at the onsen was at it's best. But even still, when Spring comes along with it's warmer days and cool nights, it gives people reason to come to Yu-Topia for a final round of hot spring bliss before Summer rolls around. 

Since business was at it's final peak before Fall and Winter make their way around again, Yuuri thought it as a nice gesture for him and Victor to stay at Yu-Topia for a little while to help with customers while also running their skating class at the nearby rink. 

That's right. A skating class. 

Even though they both retired from the ice competitively, the sport still played a role in their lives in teaching younger children who had interest in making the sport a part of their future the basics of ice skating.

And so 4 days a week, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, they held 2 classes a day. One from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM for children 5-10 years old and one from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM for children 11-16 years old. Between the classes, they had a 2 hour break to eat lunch and go over what plans they had had for the next class and get started on plans for the next day. 

They found that most of their younger students were homeschooled or did private studies (as did most younger kids in Hasetsu) in order to fit the skating class into their schedules. Their older students attended school if they were able, but most had private lessons or were homeschooled as well. 

Overall, the whole thing brought great joy to the two of them. Being able to teach kids and see their faces light up when they do something as simple as stand up successfully put a smile on their faces. 

The thoughts of the children and their happy smiles when he returned played over and over again in his mind. He couldn't wait to go back. 

It's was just Victor today. And it was just Victor yesterday. And the day before that.

All because of some annoying nausea, dizziness, and one bout of vomiting. 

It was nothing he couldn't handle, but Victor wanted him to stay home anyway. 

Some rest had seemed to pay off, as he had started feeling better earlier so hopefully whatever little bug he had would be gone by tomorrow. It would be the last class until that Friday, with another class on Saturday and then a slightly shorter class day for their students on Sunday because it was Mother's Day . 

But even though he had an ache to see his students again, he also wanted to help Victor out...since for the last few days...it had seemed like he needed it. 

The conversation he just had with Phichit played over again in his head. 

He needed to talk to Victor again. Or...at least try to. Something was wrong. And he wanted to know what. 

His thoughts were interuppted by a knock at his door. He sat up, already knowing who it was due to the sweet, minty smell that had become weaved into air.

"Come in."

The door opened revealing a tall, silver haired man. He wore a black t-shirt, dark grey sweat pants, running shoes, and had a training bag swung over his shoulder. 

Yuuri smiled. 

"I'm baaack." Victor sang. 

"So I see." Yuuri chuckled, standing up. '𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳.'

Victor gave a small smile, reaching out to the the shorter male with both of his arms. Yuuri moved towards him and melted into his embrace immediately, nuzzling his face into Victor's neck. The minty scent, now containing a touch of eucalyptus soothed him. Victor seemed calm, and he was happy about that. Very happy. 

Victor kissed the top of Yuuri's head and gently pushed him back to look at him. He pushed his black hair aside, caressing his forehead with his thumb then moving both of his hands to hold his face, squishing his cheeks slightly.

"How are you feeling moya lyubov ? Have you gotten sick anymore since I was gone ?" 

Yuuri shook his head, "No. Just this morning and that was it. But I slept a little bit and I drank lots of water. Honestly, I think it helped. I feel like I can probably go back to the rink tomorrow and help you out with the kids."

Victor beamed, " Well I'm glad to hear that. And I hope you can too. They really miss you. But let's not jump to anything yet. We'll see how you feel tomorrow."

Yurri puffed his cheeks, but now they looked extra cute since Victor still had his hands on them. The Russian man giggled.

"Awe Yuuriiii~ Now you look like a chipmunk !"

Yuuri rolled his eyes playfully, taking Victor's hands off his face. 

'𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘬....𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮....𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩.' 

Yuuri then remembered the conversation he had with Phitchit. 'Maybe now would be a good time to ask him...'

"Victor. Can I-"

"Oh, there you are, Victor."

A sweet, feminine voice came from the doorway, causing Yuuri and Victor to turn thier heads. 

A women stood by the open door. She was short, as well as her hair, with a round face, glasses and wise smile. She held a tray of crisp, white wash rags folded and stacked neatly on top of one another on her hip.

Hiroko Katsuki. Yuuri's mother. 

"Oh, hi Mom. Everything okay?"

"Oh, everything is just fine dear. It's just that I had heard Victor come in from outside but I was in the other room and wasn't able to greet him. I just wanted to know how the classes were. Everything okay without Yuuri there today?" She asked.

Yuuri looked at Victor with a tiny smile, but it quickly disappeared, turning into a frown. 

Victor had gone...stiff. His eyes were frozen on the women standing in front of them. Yuuri noticed his chest, the steady rise and fall of it moments before had changed to be short and staggard. 

Yuuri couldn't pin point what was...wait...it...it almost looked like he was having a..

...panic attack.

Or...close to one at least.

Yuuri reached his hand out slowly, his palm eventually pressing gently against Victor's forearm. The silver haired man flinched, his head darting to the source of contact, breaking out of his trance as fast as he entered it.

"H-huh ? I-I'm sorry. I...I lost myself there...for a second."

Yuuri's face contorted slightly with concern. Not just from Victor's strange...reaction, but also from the heavy, distressed sent that had begun to spread through the air. A complete one eighty to his mood and scent from mere moments ago. 

However, it seemed that Hiroko didn't notice a thing. At least not from her demeanor. She still had a smile on her face, but it now had a slight sentimental twinge to it. 

" Oh, don't worry about it Victor ! Just a nosy old women I am." She shook her head, "I shouldn't have pried so quickly, especially with how tired you much be from teaching and looking after all of those children by yourself ! That reminds, how are you feeling, dear?" Her eyes moved to Yuuri, head tilting to the side.

Yuuri smiled, " I'm feeling better. A little tired, but I think I'll be okay to go back tomorrow. After all...I can't have Victor winning over our students and becoming the favorite teacher." he said teasingly, causing Hiroko to laugh. 

"Everything today has to be a competition between you two," she shook her head, " Anyway, the other reason I came to see you two was to tell you that business is starting to slow down a bit, so I think you both could probably go back home anywhere within the next week. It's also pretty empty right now, so if you two would like, you can take a quick dip in the hotsprings before dinner. Take a chance to enjoy them before it gets too hot." 

Yuuri nodded, " Okay. We'll definitely consider it. Thanks Mom." 

Hiroko smiled and leaned in, kissing Yuuri on the cheek, and before walking away, she grabbed Victor's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze."I'll see you boys at dinner, it should be ready in about 45 minutes" she said, making her way down the hall to the main room. 

Yuuri watched as his mom walked away, turning to Victor after she rounded the corner of the hall. 

He looked very...off. Almost sad, confused, angry, nervous, and horrified all combined into one. 

It was exactly the look that would suddenly take him over the last 2 days. The looked that had Yuuri worried sick. The look that earned Yuuri the same ( obviously untruthful ) answers when he'd asked Victor what was wrong. 

Yuuri then decided it fruitless to ask again. It was obvious Victor wasn't ready to talk and, as much as he didn't want to, he had to accept it.

Instead, he gently grabbed Victor's hand, lacing the Russian's fingers between his own. A tiny smile present on his face. 

"Wanna take Mom up on her offer ?" Yuuri asked softly, " I could definitely use a good soak, and I'm sure you could too. It won't be for long though, about a half and hour or so, but..."

Victor met his omega's soft, brown gaze. His eyes were adorned with concern, yet they were still warm and sweet, much like his scent. A calming, fragrant vanilla mixed with sharp, yet not too overwhelming cinnamon that made his still tensed body relax a great deal. 

He nodded, a baby smile present on his lips " That sounds lovely."

After dressing in their robes and grabbing a few towels, the couple made their way to the springs.

Everywhere they went, they always found that their hands would end up intertwining with one another. This was no exception, even as they walked down the hall of Yuuri's childhood home. Palms were pressed together, fingers were laced, and inner arms were touching. 

Yuuri could sense that the stress that had been emitting from his alpha was slowly beginning to wash away, his minty, fresh scent slowly resurfacing. 

Though this relieved Yuuri a great bit, it still left him wondering. 

Was he overthinking this ? 

Phitchit had brought up Yuuri and how he used to 'fight his own demons' back in Detroit, which was true. As it happened quite often, and he bounced back eventually every time.

The same went with Victor. He would tense up during the last 2 days, for reasons Yuuri did not know, and would eventually snap out of it. Though it took him less time to than Yuuri. 

But regardless, as soon as he came over...whatever it was, he was back to being Victor, and that, to Yuuri, was comforting.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that's all it was. 

Victor was dealing with some personal problems that he needed to get over on his own. 

And Yuuri, from experience, respected that.

Yeah...he would be fine.

But that word, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦, left a heavy, unsure feeling surging in the back of his mind. A feeling that there was more to it than that. Much more.

And he wanted, for Victor's sake, to figure out what it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello everyone ! I'm back with chapter 2!
> 
> So we get to find out a little more about Victor's strange behavior in this chapter but nothing is heavily revealed (That's later 😉 ) But this chapter is when things start to get interesting !
> 
> Hope you enjoy !

Monday, May 4th, 5:15 PM, Yu-Topia

𝘩𝘪𝘤* "I'm tellin ya Victor....you hava gooood bunch of kidsss. Most of my students won't even listeeenn ta meee." Minako slurred, taking another swig of her beer. 

Victor chuckled, taking a sip of his own drink " Well...I think it's how you come off to them as a teacher. They won't respect you if you don't respect them."

Yuuri nodded in agreement, sitting down after setting the table with napkins and chopsticks, "Plus, the dancing season just started so you're teaching a whole new group of students. Give them some time, I'm sure they'll come around."

Minako scoffed and flung open her arms, hitting a half open beer bottle on the table. It wobbled, nearly falling onto the floor before Yuuri quickly extended his body to grab it. He sighed in relief. 

"Eassy for u ta say !!! Isss like some of the brats aient ever seen an adult before !!! They have no respect fer mee !"

Yuuri sweatdropped, ' 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘈𝘕𝘠 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦.' 

Toshiya and Mari Katsuki, Yuuri's dad and older sister were sitting at the table as well, watching the scene unfold before them, both chuckling softly. 

This was the typical pre-family dinner playout with the exception of Minako's drunk state. ( She had arrived earlier and was invited to stay for dinner and the night as well, too smashed to go home on her own.)

"Honestly Minako," Hiroko said, entering the room, carrying 6 empty bowls and a 2 large serving spoons, "it's not good for you to drink that much without hardly eating today." She set the bowls and spoons on the table before standing up to head back to the kitchen.

Minako waved her hand, "Ohhhh I'll be *𝘩𝘪𝘤 fiiiiine. Don worry about me Hirokooo." 

The older women shook her head from the kitchen entry way, a large metal pot in her possession, steaming from the small ventilation holes on top of the lid. She made her way back into the room and set the pot down before grasping the handle of the lid and removing it completely. 

The pent up steam warmed the air with the rich, delicious, inviting scent of oden entering everyone's nostrils almost instantly.

( A/N: In case you don't know what oden is, it's sort of like a Japanese hot pot. Ingredients are cooked together such as daikon raddish, eggs, fish cakes, and meat to create a stew like dish. The pieces are big enough to be freely pulled out and eaten with chopsticks or sometimes toothpicks.)

"Look amazing as always dear," Toshiya said, kissing his wife's cheek, causing her to smile warmly. 

Everyone put their hands together, a soft unison of "itadakimasu" leaving their lips before they all started to indulge in Hiroko's incredible cooking. 

Just as Yuuri was about to put a piece of the soft, juicy pork in his mouth, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked to his left, seeing his sister with a concerned expression on her face.

She spoke to him in a hushed voice, "Are you sure you should be eating something this rich Yuuri ? You seemed pretty sick this morning. I could hear you heaving your guts out this morning all the way from my room." 

Yuuri gave a reasurring smile, "I'll be okay. It's just a small bug. I'm sure it'll go away soon. Really, it's not that bad."

Mari's eyebrows furrowed, "Well it's bad enough for Victor to make you stay home again from your classes today."

Yuuri grimaced. She had him there. 

That morning, nausea had woken him up and he had thrown up again. 

Victor had been beside him in the bathroom, rubbing his back and shoulders to soothe him through his vomiting spells. 

When he finished, Victor flushed the toilet and carried him back to bed. He had fetched water bottles to make sure Yuuri stayed hydrated and put the wastebasket from the bathroom by their bed in case he couldn't make it to the toilet. 

"But Victor," Yuuri said, but said individual shut him up right away.

"No buts. You are in no condition to skate and teach. You need rest."

Yuuri sighed, knowing there was no use in arguing. 

He had sat in bed while Victor dressed to leave, watching him get ready from the connected bathroom. 

Before Victor left, he gave Yuuri a sweet kiss on the lips, running his fingers through his hair. Then, making sure his omega had everything he needed, he left for the rink. 

Yuuri had decided to get a little more sleep after Victor left, but was shocked after he had woken up to find out he had slept until 1:30 in the afternoon !

He's hardly EVER slept in that late.

Why had he been so tired ?

But strangely enough after waking up, he discovered that, once again, he felt totally fine. No nausea, no dizziness. Just a little bit of fatigue and soreness. 

Even now at the dinner table he felt mostly alright. He even felt hungry. And the thought of cosuming the oden didn't disagree with him in the slightest. 

He noticed Mari was still looking at him with worried eyes, so he gave her a reasurring smile. 

"I'll be fine."

Even with him saying that, she was still worried for her baby brother, but reluctantly replied with a quiet and unsure, "Alright...."

*𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩~~~~~~~

After dinner, everyone assisted in helping with the dishes and tidying things up ( except for Minako who had passed out on the floor.)

Hiroko and Toshiya were washing the dishes, Mari was wiping off the table, Yuuri was packing up what few leftovers remained, and Victor was drying the dishes as they were cleaned. 

"I certainly hope I can cook a good enough dinner for you like that for Mother's Day !" Toshiya laughed. 

This caused Mari and Yuuri to look up at eachother from their cleaning and packing, both biting their lips, keeping their snickers at bay. 

Hiroko smiled warmly, "Oh, now dear I don't expect you to do that for me ! I'd be just fine to cook ! Even if it is Mother's Day !" 

"But I insist ! It's only natural that I do something nice for you !" 

"No offense dad" Yuuri said, "But the last time you tried to cook, you nearly burned the house down."

This caused Mari to snort from the table, " Not only that, but it took HOURS to scrub out that pot of burnt rice. And the curry you attempted to make boiled over and splattered all over the kitchen floor!"

Toshiya's cheeks turned pink, "Oh it wasn't THAT bad." 

This caused the whole family to let out loud bouts of laughter.

"Why don't you have the kids help you out this time dear ? Oh ! And I'm sure Victor could help too ! Those dumplings he made that one time...oh what were they called...Pelmeni ! They were delicious !"

Toshiya thought for a moment before nodding in agreement, " Yes they were, weren't they ? Alright then."

He turned to look at the silver haired man next to him, smiling " Victor would be okay with helping us out with -?""

But he stopped, noticing the Russian's demeanor.

Yuuri, noticing the silence, turned to look at his husband. 

Oh no....not again.

He stopped what he was doing to go stand beside him.

Victor wasn't moving aside from his shaking hands that were gripping the counter so hard that his knuckles were turning white. Upon looking closer, Yuuri could see that his eyes were glossy, looking as if he were about to cry.

"Vitya," Yuuri whispered, covering one of Victor's shaking hands with his own, " Are you okay ?"

Hearing Yuuri's voice and feeling his hand over top of his seemed to snap him out of his thoughts once again. Turning his head, his distressed icy blue gaze met a concerned brown. 

Victor nodded slowly, wiping his eyes and letting out a shaky sigh.

"Y-yes. I....I'm fine. I'm sorry for worrying you." 

Yuuri gave a tiny relieved smile, putting his other hand on Victor's back.

"But..."

His smile faded.

"I....I need to get some fresh air....please excuse me."

Victor slid his hand out from under Yuuri's, walking past him and out of the kitchen. He slipped on his shoes, opened the shutter doors leading outside, and walked out, closing them softly behind him. 

"Oh dear..." Hiroko whispered, "I hope he's okay."

Mari stood up from the table and looked at her brother with concern, "Yuuri...what's wrong with him ?"

The Japanese man met his sister's worried eyes, fist clenched over his heart. He bit his lip, the words stuck in his throat.

Taking a deep breath gave him the capability to answer, but his words were strained.

"I....I don't know..."

*𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩~~~~~~~

After everything had been cleaned up, Yuuri retreated to his and Victor's bedroom to shower. 

Worry planted itself in the back of Yuuri's mind as he rummaged through his drawer for a pair of pajamas. 

Victor still hadn't come back yet.....but that wasn't what he was worried about. 

He knew Victor had habits of taking jogs in order to clear his mind.....but it's what he was clearing his mind OF that made Yuuri concerned. 

Victor still hadn't told him anything yet...but he was pretty sure if he pressed him, he would get the same answers as before. 

With a tired sigh, Yuuri walked into the bathroom and opened the shower curtain.

But just as he was about to flip the handle to turn on the water, an upbeat, little jingle sound came from the bedroom. 

His phone was ringing. 

Pulling back from the shower tap, Yuuri made his way back into the bedroom. 

His phone lay on the nightstand, hooked up to a charger, buzzing along with the sound of his ringtone. 

When he picked it up, he examined the caller ID on the screen. 

Unknown. 

He contemplated on answering since it could very well be a wrong number, but decided to answer it anyways.

He slid the answer icon to the right, putting the phone up to his ear.

"Hello ?" 

"Hi, Mr.Katsuki !" 

The voice shocked him. It's sounded like a little girl's voice. He didn't recognize it first hand and it didn't sound like the familiar voice of one of the Nishigori triplets. He cancelled that idea immediately since the voice was too high pitched to belong to one of them anways.

"I-I'm sorry...who is this ?"

He heard a gasp come from the unknown caller.

"Whaaaat ? Mr. Katsuki I can't believe you ! How can you not know the voice of one of your bestest students ?" 

Yuuri blinked, but realization kicked in only a second later, now believing he had knowledge of the identity of the caller.

"Wait...Ayumi ? Is that you ?"

He heard laughter on the other side of the line, before there was an answer of " Yep ! That's me !"

Yuuri smiled. 

Ayumi Hiraoka was a bright, energetic, 6 year old girl and was in the first two hour class that Victor and Yuuri held at the rink. She showed immediate talent on the ice the moment she set foot on it, standing out amongst the other students. 

But she was never cocky about it and always listened to Yuuri and Victor's instructed lessons. She even assisted her other rink mates when they were having problems with their forms and balance. 

She was no doubt an amazing student. 

Yuuri sat down on his bed, " Well, hi ! How are you ?" 

He could here Ayumi's sweet, little giggles " I'm doing good. How are you ? Mr. Nikiforov told us you haven't been feeling well. Are you okay ? I've been worried about you and so has everyone else. We all miss you. Lots." 

This made Yuuri's heart swell, " Awe, well I miss you guys too. But don't worry. I've been a little sick, but I should be back at the rink on Friday for our next class." 

" Oh thank goodness ! I mean I'm not tired of Mr. Nikiforov ! He's amazing ! But it's even better with the both of you there." 

Yuuri chuckled, "Well it WILL be the both of us. Soon. We just have to wait until I'm feeling better." 

"Haha, okay........actually....I'm calling because there's something I wanted to talk to you about." 

Yuuri's interest piqued a little, " Oh ? What is it Ayumi ?"

She didn't speak for a moment, but when she did, her voice was softer, and more quiet than it had been before. 

" Is....is Mr. Nikiforov okay ?"

Okay....now his interest was piqued even more. 

"Why do you ask Ayumi?"

"Well," she began, " On Friday before class, a few of my friends and I were tieing our skates, talking about our plans for Mother's Day this weekend ! We were talking about spending the day with our mommies and going shopping and stuff." 

Yuuri hummed, hinting to her that he was listening. 

"After we were done, we went onto the ice, and I noticed Mr. Nikiforov was standing near us, looking over our training papers. He looked... upset. I asked if he was ok and he said he was fine. But he hasn't seemed like himself since then. I mean he's still teaching us, and being funny and all of that....but his eyes look sad and sometimes his smile does too..." 

So it wasn't just here at Yu-Topia that Victor was acting strangely. And if a bunch of little kids could notice it, then something must be REALLY wrong. 

Yuuri swallowed thickly "A-and are you the only one noticing this ?" 

"Well....I told my friends I would call you...and ask you since we've all been a little worried. I found your number in the phone book...and..." She trailed off.

"Oh...I see. " Yuuri picked at the fabric of his sweatpants, before clearing his throat, forcing out his voice to sound more positive and upbeat, " I'll tell you what. I'll try my best to see what's going on and fix things the best I can. But while doing so, I don't want you to worry and I don't want your friends to worry either. So can you promise me you'll enjoy your week for me and come back excited for a fun practice this Friday ?"

There was a split second of silence followed by an exclaimed " Yeah ! Of course I can !" Almost as if the answer, according to Ayumi, was completely obvious. 

Yuuri beamed, " That's what I like to hear. But I have to go now okay ? Gotta uphold my end of the deal."

" Heehee, okay ! Thank you Mr. Katsuki ! I'll see you and Mr. Nikiforov on Friday okay ? Feel better !" 

" Your welcome Ayumi." Yuuri smiled "See you on Friday ! And thank you."

Ayumi giggled before she hung up, causing Yuuri to chuckle to himself. 

She was such a sweet little girl.

A little girl who had so much dedication to the ice. 

A little girl who never took up the chance to listen and learn. 

A little girl...who was counting on him.

She adored him and Victor, similar to how Yuuri adored Victor back in the day, so to hear her upset tugged at his heartstrings. 

He had to do something.

Looking back down on at his phone, he noticed it was now back on its contact screen, multiple names and phone numbers crossing his vision. 

But his eyes landed on one in particular. He hesitated. 

Would he be able to help ? It was worth a try right ? 

Yuuri took in a breath, thinking about the ear full he would possibly receive from calling him.

You know what ? It didn't matter. He needed to figure this out, and he would probably have more answers than anyone else he knew. 

With a quick tap of the screen, his phone began to dial. Just as soon as he put his phone to his ear, another voice appeared on the end, signaling the call to be successful. But the greeting was no less than what he expected. 

"What do you want ?"

Yuuri laughed hesitantly, "Hey.... I'm sorry to call at this hour but if you'll just here me out...it's kind of sudden I know, but extremely important... something's wrong with Victor and..."

He paused, taking a breath and letting it out slowly.

"... I need your help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that's chapter 2 to everybody !
> 
> Any ideas as to who Yuuri is asking help from ? 😏 ( I think it's kiiiinda obvious )
> 
> Poor Victor :( Yuuri wants to help him so bad. 
> 
> Next chapter we get into some more details about what been going on with Victor but nothing too extreme...yet.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you all in chapter 3 !
> 
> Bye Byeeee !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm back with chapter 3 everyone !
> 
> So in this chapter, Yuuri meets to talk with the person he asked for help from on the phone the night before and we learn a liiiitle more about Victor's odds behavior. 
> 
> Just a small warning that there is a tiny bit of cussing in this chapter because of a certain someone 😉
> 
> But other than that, I hope you all enjoy !!!

Tuesday, May 5th, Espresso Express, 9:40 AM. 

Yuuri sat at a booth inside the cafe, hands folded in front of him and knee bouncing under the table. His stomach felt slightly knotted but, thankfully, not in a sick way.

Which was...a huge relief.

When Yuuri had woken up that morning, he was expecting nausea to force him out of bed and into the bathroom immediately. 

But it didn't. 

He actually woke up normally for the first time in 4 days, Victor's body cuddled close to his backside, his right arm draped over his middle. 

This made getting up a slight challenge, but he was able to do so nonetheless without waking Victor up. 

He had grabbed a comfortable pair of clothes that consisted of a red t-shirt, faded black jeggings, and a thin, zip up black sweater in case there was a slight chill in the air. Then he retreated into the bathroom to get ready. 

He washed his face, brushed his teeth, brushed his hair, and dressed all within 15 minutes. 

His hand reached out to turn off the light as he excited the bathroom, still being mindful of Victor's sleeping figure. 

Just as he was about to exit the room, he paused, eyeballing the pen and notepad sitting on his desk. 

"𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.'

And he did. Grabbing the pen, he scribbled a short note on one of the pieces of note paper. But the note itself was a small deviation from the truth from where he was really going. He hated hiding stuff from Victor and doing things behind his back, but he also knew Victor wouldn't tell him what was wrong unless he took a different course of action and found out things for himself. He was genuinely concerned about Victor, and that was his sole purpose that he came up as to why he was doing everything he was doing. 

His Alpha was clearly in distress and as his partner, husband, and mate, it was his job to ease that distress no matter what. 

Yuuri did a once over of the note, making sure that no suspicion would arise from it if Victor read it. 

𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘺𝘢, 

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘺𝘦𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦. 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 ? 𝘛𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯. 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘭o𝘷𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬. 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯. 

𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘠𝘶𝘶𝘳𝘪

There. Perfect.

With a satisfied smile, he folded the paper and placed it on the pillow next to Victor and kissed his forehead before tiptoeing out of his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

His parents were awake, attending to a few customers when he entered the main room.

He told the same little fib to them as on the note he left for Victor. 

He then slipped on his tennis shoes and successfully made it outside with a relieved sigh, no suspicion on his tail. 

Taking a step forward, he began to make is way to the real destination he had planned for today. A small, cozy little cafe about a 10 minute walk from Yu-Topia. 

Which was now where he currently resided.

There were about a dozen people in the cafe other than him which was normal for an early morning week day. Yuuri peered at the cafe's entrance, seeing the door was still shut and the usual jingle of the bell attached to the top of it was silent with no one walking in or out. He then checked the time on his phone. 

9:44 AM. 

Yurio should be here any minute. 

The thought sort of amazed him since he was honestly shocked that the boy agreed to meet him this morning, considering that whenever they were in close proximity of one another, the blonde always made it clear that he somewhat, (but not really) hated Yuuri's guts.

He had shown it immensely the first time they met. 

After all, kicking the door of the bathroom stall you were crying in and forcing you to come out while also calling you a loser HAD to mean you weren't too fond of someone. 

That memory caused Yuuri to chuckle. He hadn't had a bathroom stall breakdown since then which, he supposed, was a good thing. 

Yurio, despite everything, did the have the occasional habit of helping people through things....just in his own.... extremely unique 'I'll beat the crap out of you if you don't suck it up' kind of way. 

"Oi ! Katsudon !" 

He also had a habit of not calling people by their first name. 

Very rarely did Yurio use his first name when addressing him. It was either 'katsudon', 'pork cutlet bowl', 'pig', or 'piggy'...but Yuuri didn't care.

He still looked up, meeting Yurio's sharp green gaze. A relieved smile washed over him now that he was REALLY here and didn't just promise to come in order to pull some sick joke on him and end up not showing up. 

But there he was. Blonde hair slightly longer with half pulled up in a hair tie, clad in black jeans, black tennis shoes, and an animal print t-shirt. He looked exactly the same as he always had for the time Yuuri had know him, but no doubt he had done some growing up, at least a little. 

Currently, the now almost 17 year old Yuri Plisetsky was taking a small break ( crazy right ? ) from the ice, focusing more on dancing, specifically ballet. 

After this past season, he really began to realize how much dancing had helped him over the years. Not just with his skating and physique, but also his personality, and thoughts about certain things. It cleared his head and, honestly, had made him a slightly better person. 

It was also convenient that he was here in Japan as well, finding comfort particularly in Hasetsu despite everything that had happened there the first time he visited.

He decided to partake in some of the advanced dance classes there while also helping out part time in the novice classes.

Overall, he was doing good, and that made Yuuri happy. 

The blonde reached the booth Yuuri was sitting at and sat down, scooting more towards the middle. 

It was then that a young waitress with auburn hair and hazel eyes walked towards them wearing a tiny smile with a notepad and pen in her left hand. 

"Hello, my name is Hana and I be your server today. What can I get you ?" 

"Just an ice water for me, please." Yuuri smiled.

"Alright. And for you ?"

Yurio pressed a finger to his temple, " An iced caramel latte. Extra cream." 

The waitress smiled, " Got it. I'll be back with your orders in a few minutes."

She walked away, leaving Yuuri and Yurio alone. 

"So..."Yuuri started, " It's good to see you."

Yurio lifted his finger from his temple, sitting up straighter in the booth. 

"Spill."

Yuuri blinked, confused "Pardon ?"

Yurio rolled his eyes, "God, don't tell me your deaf now, too."

Yuuri blinked again, still not getting it. This caused Yurio to groan.

"You told me to meet you here because you need my help with something and I can tell your about to piss your pants with worry. So I said 'spill'. What's going on ?" 

Yep. DEFINITELY had his own way of helping people. 

Yuuri cleared his throat.

"W-well...there's something wrong with Victor...and..." he trailed off. 

Yurio scoffed, "I know THAT. You said so last night. And I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there's LOTS of things wrong with that geezer."

Yuuri bit his lip, "Well...I'm not talking about that kind of wrong. I'm referring to more his mental state. I think there's something going on with him since...he's been acting strange lately."

Yurio tilted his head, "Strange how ?"

"Well," Yuuri hesitated, " For the last few days, Victor's been in and out of what are...sort of like...I guess miniature panic attacks ? They've taken him over at random times and I have no idea what's causing them. He gets quiet and sort of blanks out and I guess our students at the rink have noticed it too since one of them called me last night because she was worried about him. But I think last night was the worst one yet. We had just gotten done with dinner and we were talking about helping dad make dinner for my mom for Mother's Day since....well...he kinda can't cook. But then Victor got really quiet and his hands started shaking and-"

"Wait a second." 

Yuuri stopped rambling. The tone to Yurio's voice immediately grabbing his attention. 

Yurio looked him dead in the eyes, before asking "What did you just say ?" 

Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows, " I said.... Victor's hands started shaking and-"

"No." Yurio shook his head, "No, before that."

Yuuri blinked "Uhmmm.....we were discussing dinner plans for Mother's Day and-"

Yuuri stopped talking again. It was then he spotted their waitress walking towards them with their orders. Once she reached the table, she placed each drink down one at a time. 

"T-thank you very much."

Hana smiled, " Is there anything else I can get you."

"No, thank you. That will be all." 

"Alright then. Enjoy ! I'll leave the bill here for you okay ?" She said, setting down a receipt and pen.

Yuuri nodded and watched the waitress walk away to another table. He then brought his attention back to Yurio who had a very rare, genuine look of concern on his face. 

"Yurio ?" 

"I can't believe it's already that time again...fuck." The blonde said lowly. 

"What ?" 

Yurio pressed his lips together for a second. "Katsudon. What's the date today ?"

"Uhh..." Yuuri looked at his phone, "It's the 5th of May. Why ?" 

Yurio grimaced, a mumbled "Shit..." leaving his lips as he rubbed is forehead with his left hand. 

"Y-Yurio ?"

The blonde sighed before looking up at Yuuri. His eyes hard but filled with...remorse ?

"I know what's wrong with Victor." 

In that split second of Yurio's statement, Yuuri's heart jumped into his throat, a thousand questions entering his mind. But it was only 2 tiny words to seal confirmation that left his lips as a stutter. 

"Y-you do ?" 

Yurio looked down at his iced latte, " It...has to do with Mother's Day. Victor has...always had a difficult time with it. Ever since I met him."

Now Yuuri was genuinely confused. Why would Mother's Day cause Victor to act the way he's been acting ? Come to think of it...Yuuri didn't really know anything about Victor's mom. Or...any of his family for that matter. Whenever any topic of his family came up, he was usually very vague and he always seemed like he would avoid the topic. 

Almost like it was....painful...to talk about.

Yuuri's eyes widened as he recalled each moment before Victor would go into one of his attacks. 

Ayumi had told him that Victor had seemed sad during classes after she and her friends had talked about their Mother's Day plans on Friday. 

Victor had gone rigid the day before yesterday when Yuuri's mom had come into their room after he had gotten back from the rink to ask Victor how his day was. 

And last night Victor nearly had a panic attack when Yuuri and his family were talking about dinner plans for Hiroko on Mother's Day.

Yuuri could feel his blood turn to ice. 

Mother's Day.

Victor never talking about his family.

Could it be that the reason that Victor has been so out of it lately be because...

"Yurio....don't tell me," Yuuri swallowed thickly. His throat felt raw. "Is...is Victor's mother....? Did....is she...?"

Yurio nodded, his voice soft, " Victor's mom passed away when he was 17 years old. And by the look on your face, I guess you didn't know about this. He never told you about it ?" 

Yuuri shook his head, "No," he said, voice barely above a whisper, "he didn't."

"Doesn't surprise me. A lot of people don't know about it. Only very few actually do." 

Yuuri squirmed in his seat, " He told you ?"

The blonde took a sip from his drink, "Well...not exactly. It was Yakov who gave me the details. He knows more about it than anyone else." 

Yuuri knew that name. Yakov Feltsman was Victor's old coach and his temporary coach while Victor flew back to Japan when Makkachin had an emergency vet visit after he injested too many pork buns while staying at Yu-Topia during the competition season. 

"I....I honestly don't know what to say," Yuuri said, voice low, "Back when he was my coach, I never really noticed him acting strangely this time of year. I remember he seemed a little more quiet...but... God... I...I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know it was this...bad." He grimaced at the word. "Bad" was a huge understatement. 

Yurio nodded, " Yeah. He's acted like this every year ever since then. Always about a week before Mother's Day, he just goes into a pitch black spiral. He's distant, sad, depressed...but goes back to normal a few days after Mother's Day is over....well...as normal as you can get after a weeks long mental breakdown." 

Yuuri was shocked. Victor has gone through this for the last 11 years...all by himself ?

He lightly gripped his cup of water, the perspiration wetting his palm and fingers. He didn't want to ask, but "What happened ? If...if you don't mind me asking."

Yurio shook his head, "I...I don't know that much. But I think it was some kind of illness. I'm not exactly sure "

"Oh." Yuuri said, looking down at his lap, "I see." 

"But," Yurio began, " If you really want to know, you should talk to Yakov. He's one of the closest individuals to Victor now besides you. If Victor hasn't said anything to you by now, he might NEVER tell you, but I think it's important for you to know. Maybe you can find some way to knock him out of it. Make him feel better...or something."

Yuuri smiled. Though it may not sound like it, Yurio was concerned for Victor, and Yuuri knew it.

Right then. He was going to talk to Yakov and learn everything. This was exactly what he needed. But there was one problem.

"I don't have Yakov's phone number." Yuuri stated.

Yurio looked to his left and stared at the receipt left by the waitress. He grabbed it and folded the section front and back where the excess paper was and carefully ripped off a clean edged piece. 

He then grabbed the pen and scribbled down a few numbers, folded it and handed it to Yuuri. 

"There." He stated simply.

Yuuri smiled, taking the piece of paper, "Thank you Yurio. Really. It means alot."

Yurio tsked, "Don't mention it. Seriously. Don't. Ever."

But Yuuri could see the tiny smile on the blonde's face.

*𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗽~~~~~~~

Yuuri talked with Yurio for a little while longer about his dancing and how things were going at the skating class before they each left the money needed to pay for each of their drinks while also leaving a tip for their waitress. 

They said their goodbyes at the front of the cafe, Yuuri giving a final thank you to Yurio, before departing in different directions.

Yuuri was at an intersection, about to cross the street before he felt a vibration in the pocket of his sweater. 

He pulled out his phone to see a notification on his front screen.

It was a text from Victor. He must be awake.

Yuuri smiled and tapped on his message icon to see what Victor had sent him.

𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘺𝘢: 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 ! 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 ! 𝘞𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 ❤️

Yuuri rolled his eyes. Only Victor would want to have a celebration for him from getting over a sickess. 

𝘛𝘰 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘺𝘢: 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺. 😊 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 ?

About another minute or so passed before Yuuri got another message.

𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘺𝘢: 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 ? 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘦𝘵 ?

Yuuri couldn't recall having anything that morning besides his glass of water at the cafe. It couldn't hurt. It may even bring Victor's sprits up a bit and act as temporary distraction. 

𝘛𝘰 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘺𝘢: 𝘕𝘰, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯'𝘵. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘪𝘵. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 ?

Once Victor settled down with Yuuri in Japan, the the black haired male had taken him to a buffet breakfast bar called Bee's Breakfast. It was a restaurant not too far away from the onsen and they had some of most delicious breakfast items Victor had ever tasted.

Fresh croissants, biscuits, pastries, waffles, pancakes, fruit, side dishes, cold fruit juices, rich coffee, hot tea, and so much more. 

It was one of their favorite places to go. 

𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘺𝘢: 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 ! 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 15 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴. 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ! 🥰❤️😘 

Yuuri felt his heart skip a beat. Even after the countless time Victor had said 'I love you' to him, it always made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

𝘛𝘰 𝘝𝘪𝘵𝘺𝘢: 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘰 ☺️ 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯.

Yuuri sighed and put his phone in his pocket. 

That was when the worry began to really set in...again.

Everything that he just learned crossed his mind in a whirlwind and all he could think of was Victor.

He was always so cheerful. But how long had that cheerfulness been an act ? An act to keep his past behind him. An act that required a fake smile. An act he's put on for 11 whole years. 

Yuuri's throat suddenly felt tight. He couldn't imagine how much Victor must be hurting. How much pain he must be feeling right now. 

And Yuuri had had no idea.

But he did now....and was going to help his mate. 

It was only fair after everything Victor had done for him. After how much he had helped him. 

Now it was Yuuri's turn. 

But for now, he was determined to have a nice and attempted worry free morning with his husband. 

Yuuri shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweater, a chilly Spring breeze kissing the skin on his face. 

He waited for the light of the crosswalk to turn green, and when it did, he walked steadily to the other side, cars stopping as he passed by. 

The walk to the restaurant was silent for him. The only accompanyments were the steady sound of his breathing, the low tip-tap of his footsteps against the pavement...

And the small paper that had been given to him by Yurio that he had put in his pocket containing Yakov's number. He could feel how it occasionally got pushed against his knuckles, slightly tickling his skin with every step he took. 

He spotted the restaurant in the distance a short while later, as well as a silver haired man at the entrance waving and smiling at him. 

Yuuri could feel his heart clench in his chest. He'd never thought this would happen. He never thought he would feel this way...but

For the first time....ever...it pained Yuuri...

...to see Victor smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not gonna lie, but writing that last line made me tear up a bit 🥺
> 
> But the emotional rollercoaster only JUST started. Trust me. We have a lot of emotional things going on next chapter so make sure to buckle up !
> 
> But that's it for now you guys ! Thank you so much for reading and I will see you all with chapter 4 tomorrow !!!
> 
> Bye bye !!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi everyone ! I'm back again and with chapter 4 in my possession.
> 
> So a few quick things.
> 
> I know I said that my chapters were gonna be around 2,000 to 2,500 words long...but I lied. This chapter broke 3,000 😅. Things happen when I write. What can I say ?
> 
> Now because of this, next chapter is going to be a continued section of the date May 6th plus all of May 7th since it was getting too long and it also added length for tomorrow's chapter which is good. 
> 
> This is also a backstory chapter for Victor. We FINALLY get a huge load of information as to why he's been acting so strange. Need I remind that this is all completely made up. We do not have a backstory for Victor yet so this is something I came up with all on my own. But with the backstory comes a few things.
> 
> This is where ALOT of my warnings come into play such as death, sad themes, angst, loss, and also...mentions of cancer and car accidents. So if any of these are sensitive topics PLEASE do NOT read. 
> 
> But if you are okay with these topics, then I hope you enjoy the chapter !

Wednesday, May 6th, Yu-Topia, 1:30 PM

"Are you sure you don't need anymore help, Mom ?" Yuuri asked as he brought in a basket of clean towels. Hiroko smiled from the kitchen's entry way. 

"I'm sure dear. I won't need more help until later this evening once we start getting customers. Oh, and when Victor and your father come back from grocery shopping. I gave them quite the list so I'm sure they'll need help bringing bags in and unpacking. You've done plenty for now. Go and take a little break." 

Yuuri nodded, pointing a finger at the older women "Okay. But don't overwork yourself or you'll get an earfull from me later." He teased.

Hiroko chuckled, "I won't dear. Sometimes I feel you're the mother here you know that ? But I suppose that's not a bad thing. I taught you well." 

Yuuri grinned, waving a see you later to his mom before making his way to his and Victor's bedroom. 

He entered the room and closed the shutter doors behind him, walking over to his bed. 

But he stopped midway, his glasses' case catching his attention as it sat closed on his desk. 

With Victor gone at the store with Toshiya, now would be the perfect time.

Yuuri grabbed the case and sat on his bed in a criss cross apple sauce fashion. He opened up the case, a tiny folded piece of paper now in his line of sight.

It was the piece of receipt paper with Yakov's number on it that Yurio gave him the day before. 

He had been itching to call him in order to find out about Victor's past, his family......and what happened to his mother. 

It made sense that the older man would know. He had been Victor's coach for a very long time and was the main adult Yuuri would always see with him. Whether in the paper, the news, or on the internet, Yakov was always by his side. Almost like how a parent would always be with a child. 

Victor no doubt had a difficult relationship with his family later in life, but then again, maybe he always had. Ever since Yuuri became a fan of Victor, he never saw people with him during competitions on TV that even remotely resembled him in the slightest. No silver hair, pale skin, blue eyes, or heart shaped smile. 

None of that. 

It's as if Yakov had been his family ever since he was 17 when Yurio claimed that Victor's mom had passed away. 

But what about his father ? Or other distant family ?

Yuuri had no idea. 

But the call he was about to make would no doubt change all of the unknowns that Victor held towards him.

He still felt slighty guilty about doing all of this behind Victor's back. But he would feel even more guilty if he continued to let Victor suffer through this by himself any longer.

Like Yurio had said yesterday. If Victor hasn't told him anything about his past, then he may NEVER tell him. 

Yuuri unfolded the piece of paper and grabbed his phone that he had left on the window sill. 

He went to the dial section of his phone, tapping the numbers written on the creased reciept. 

He pressed the call buttom and put the phone up to his ear. 

One ring

Two rings

Three ri-

"Hello Yuuri." A thick, Russian accented voice bounced off his eardrums, "I've been expecting your call."

What ? How did-?

"Yuratchka told me yesterday that you would call me eventually. He told me about the conversation you both had, so I assumed it was you since I do not get many phone calls anymore." 

Oh. That explains it.

"H-he did ? I was wondering how you knew it was me. So since he talked to you...I'm guessing you know why I'm calling then..."

"Yes." He sighed, his voice low, " How bad is it ?"

Yuuri pursed his lips, "Well... definitely not good. It's like he's sometimes a completely different person. I've never seen him act the way he does when...it happens. He gets so quiet. And he spaces out. Sometimes his eyes go wide and they get glossy or his hands start to shake. It...scares me."

Yakov clicked his tongue, "Sounds no different than how he acted when he was around me. This is the first time he's truly been away from me while going through this. I was wondering if he would act any different around you. I suppose not."

Yuuri sighed shakily, "He tries to act like he's okay. But I know he's not. I'm going to be honest and say it hurts to see him like this. He's not my Victor, and I know he won't tell me anything...so that's why I'm turning to you. Yurio said you knew everything and..."

Yuuri bit his lip, tears burning the edge of his eyes, "I need to know. Not for my sake...but for Victor's. I HATE seeing him like this and I can't help him if he won't tell me what's wrong. Please, Yakov. I need to know what happened. "

He could hear Yakov sigh over the phone, "I will tell you all that I know...but it's a lot of information Yuuri...so make sure you listen okay?"

Yuuri's silence was all Yakov needed to continue.

"Alexsandr Nikiforov and Elena Vasiliev. Those were the name of Victor's parents."

"I was friends with Alexsandr's father for a very long time so I had known Alexsandr since he was a boy. I would look after him quite often while his father worked so I became very acustomed to him. He was a very energetic young boy. You turn your head for a second and he was off somewhere else. He grew up before my eyes, and ever since he was young, he was very popular among the females. But even after so many confessions and love letters, he still only cared about one." 

"Back before I was a coach, I owned my own skating rink and Alexsandr would visit me often. But I knew too well it was also to see a particular young women that would come by the rink to skate on her own time. That was Elena you see." 

"She was a beautiful, kind, and intelligent young girl. Long silver hair, pale skin, a smile that could brighten anyone's day, and shining blue eyes that we're always full of life. She loved to skate and her skills in it were very impressive. It was a great talent of hers. Nothing short of a gift."

Yuuri was astonished. Everything that he just heard in Yakov's short description of Elena showed no doubt that...

"She was just like Victor..." Yuuri said softly. 

Yakov hummed low, " Yes. She was. In almost every way. I remember Alexsandr asking me to teach him how to skate himself in order to impress her. But the boy couldn't so much as stand on the ice. One day, Elena had walked in while I was teaching him. Alexsandr had fallen and Elena started laughing. He was so embarrassed, but Elena had offered to give him some pointers. Before long, he and Elena would meet almost everyday at the rink. It was what he looked forward to every single day. And I could tell she looked forward to it too."

"They spent their time together at the rink and on their own time as well. Alexandr would pull me and his father aside to ask for advice on dating or places to take her and he would shower her with whatever gifts he could buy her. Flowers, jewlery, her favorite snacks. His love for her was obvious to the eye. And....so was Elena's love for him."

"It seemed her eyes sparkled more when she was with him. Alexandr was an Alpha while Elena was an Omega so their relationship was strong from the start. It's as if they knew they were soulmates from the beginning. They got along so well and always made eachother happy. When he was 24 and Elena was 23, Alexandr realized he wanted that happiness to last for as long as it could, so he proposed to her at the rink where they first met. The wedding was held 3 months later during the Spring. And let me say that it was beautiful. I don't think I had ever seen a couple more happy and in love." 

"About 4 months later, Alexandr had called me and told me that he had made plans with Elena to take his parents out to their favorite restaurant for their 26th wedding anniversary. He invited me to go along with them and I told them I would meet them at the restaurant. We created a time to meet at 6 in the evening but I noticed they were running late while I stood at the entrance. I had tried caling Alexandr or his father but neither of them would pick up." 

"I left the restaurant and drove back down the streets they would have taken in order to get there but soon became blocked off by police cars, ambulances, and car parts laying across the street. I pulled in closer....and saw 3 bodies laying on the ground. But I wasn't able to completely identity them."

"Later after I gave my information and concern of the accident...I learned that the bodies which were pronouced deceased at the scene, belonged to Alexandr, his mother, and his father. They suffered from severe brain damage upon impact of the car that hit them and probably died immediately after the collision."

Yuuri's breathing was shallow, heart in his throat, "A-and Elena...? Did....did she ?" he stuttered.

"Elena was the only one that survived the crash. Well her...and the baby." 

Yuuri blinked, "Baby ? You mean she was...?" 

He could imagine Yakov nodding his head through the phone, "Yes. At the time, she was 2 months pregnant. She and Alexsandr were planning on surprising his parents with the news for their anniversary...but they never got the chance."

"Elena suffered from a broken ankle, a concussion, and a few cuts and bruises. Nothing compared to her husband and in-laws. I remember rushing to the hospital to see her. At the time...I didn't know if she knew about Alexandr or his parents. I wasn't sure if I should have told her or have waited for the nurses to say something. But I sat next to her and she grabbed my hand. The next sentence she said shocked me. She asked, 'Do you think Alexandr would have been a good father ?'" 

"I could only nod, and try my best to calm her down as she cried. Somehow...she knew. Before hearing anything she just knew. I had always known she was clever and extremely smart...but nothing could have prepared me to hear those come out of her mouth. She had been married for only 4 months and lost her in laws, husband, and father of her baby all within an hour. But despite that, she eventually pulled her hands away and wiped her eyes. And she did the one thing I wouldn't expect anyone in her situation to do."

"She smiled."

"She was torn, broken, but I could still see the longing determination in her eyes. Determination to do her best despite everything. For herself, and for her baby. 'Its what Alexandr would have wanted' she said."

"I had asked her about contacting family and she told she preferred not to. I had remembered her family wasn't at the wedding so I simply assumed her relationship with them wasn't the best. She told me she spent more time at her friend's houses than her own so instead, I offered to watch over her for the duration of her recovery and pregnancy. She happily obliged." 

"We held a memorial for Alexandr and his parents a few months later. There weren't too many people. Just some close friends. But our respects were paid and final words were laid to rest. Elena cried the whole time, but she still smiled when she could. It amazed me every time."

"Her injuries healed nicely and her pregnancy went without any problems. On Christmas she had gone into labor and I was by her side the whole time. And before long, she had a miniature carbon copy of herself in her arms...but as a male. Silver hair, blue eyes, pale skin, small lips, but with Alexandr's ears and nose. Elena was so happy. She didn't want to let him go." 

"She had thought of names months prior, but decided to go with the name that stood as her late husband's middle. It was 'Victorovich', but was shortened to just Victor to act as a first name. Elena had also kept Alexandr's last name and so it was additionally passed on to her son."

Yuuri smiled softly, "So Victor was named after his dad..."

"Yes. Though Victor looked like her, he still reminded Elena so much of Alexandr, even as a baby. I could see the small things too when I held him for the first time. The name was appropriate and absolutely perfect."

"Similar to Alexandr, I watched Victor grow up before my eyes. Elena and I stayed very close in contact with one another and I was always on call when she needed me. But she was a very strong women and an amazing mother. She loved Victor deeply and tried her absolute hardest to raise him the best she could."

"She had come by one day when Victor was about 8 years old. Apparently she had told him about how she used to figure skate. Ever since Victor had been born, she found it hard to make time to skate while looking after him and balancing a job at the same time. But when he heard about it, he wanted to give it a try himself. And just like his mother...he was a natural."

"He would come by very often after that day to practice and become better. Elena would always try her best to come along when she could in order to give him pointers, so in a way, she was sort of like his coach. But oh how Victor smiled when he skated with her. They would glide across the ice, Elena holding him close the whole time. They were certainly quite the pair."

"Once Victor turned 12, I had told Elena that I decided to take up professional coaching and I offered to coach Victor since I believed he was a worthy person of competition. She was thrilled about the idea and asked Victor right away if he would agree to it. He had grinned, his eyes sparkling and Elena told me he had asked "When do we start?""

"He excelled in his training and almost every competition he competed in, putting him in the top of his class even at such as early age. His talent grabbed the attention of many, but even after receiving so many offers, he made his point clear during his first interview when he was 13, as to why he was skating in the first place."

"He had said 'I skate for my Mama. She is my #1 fan and idol. She never skated to compete so I want to accomplish what she couldn't. She is the one who graced me with this talent. I want to be just like her !'"

Yuuri smiled, but then something clicked in his brain, "Is that why he grew out his hair ? So that he could look more like his mother ?"

Yakov chuckled, "When Victor said something, he meant every word. He looked exactly like his mother but with a male body. You could have almost mistaken them for twins."

"As time went on, Victor became more and more successful in his career. He also started traveling more and longer distances away. He loved doing so.... but the only issue was that it kept him away from his mother quite often. But she reassured him every time that it was fine. He was pursuing his dream and doing what he loved. That was enough. Elena attended what competitions she could and watched the rest on T.V. She was ALWAYS there to support him no matter what."

"However, it was during a competition in Russia when Victor was 16 that I began to notice something. For the last few months that I had seen Elena, I noticed that she looked different. He eyes were dull and she was thinner than usual. She was also very pale and looked as if she was lacking sleep. I asked her if she was okay, but she continued to tell me that she was fine."

"𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘝𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮..." Yuuri thought. 

"It was when she nearly collapsed at the kiss and cry while Victor was skating that I demanded she tell me what was wrong. I guess Victor had noticed it too while he was skating because as soon as his performance was over, he skated right over to the both of us extremely worried while talking to his mother in rushed words. She shook her head and kissed his cheek, telling him to get his scores and then meet her in infirmary along with myself. And so we did."

"She was laying on one of the beds when we arrived. Victor immediately rushed to her side, grabbing her hand and asking her what was wrong. She pressed a hand to Victor's cheek and looked at me with sadness in her eyes. Supposedly, for the last 2 years, she had been battling cancer...and she didn't say anything about until then."

"I was shocked...but it explained so much. How tired she had looked, how skinny she was. She had been on chemotherapy but it had only done so much before it stopped working all together. The doctor had told her she didn't have much time left." 

"I remember how Victor cried. He asked her why she didn't say anything sooner and she told him that she wanted him to focus on his skating. That she didn't want him to worry. But that only made Victor cry harder. He held her in his arms, running his fingers through her hair, but had a look of horror on his face when he pulled his hand away, some Elena's hair tangled around his fingers."

"He decided then to stop skating for awhile to look after his mother, and he asked for my help as well. He wanted to make sure she was well taken care of and not just dumped in the hospital to wait out what time time she had left. Victor did his best to make it worthwhile."

"He would take her on walks in a wheelchair, style what little hair she had left, would stay by her side while she was sick from her medication, would cook some of her favorite dishes, and would help her to bed at night. He was trying his best but I could tell in his eyes that he didn't believe it was enough."

"Elena's health continued to deteriorate over the course of a year and a half, and one night at the beginning of May when Victor was 17, things took a turn for the worst."

"He called me one night and said that she had stopped breathing and so I rushed over right away while calling an ambulance. They took her to the emergency room and were able to revive her, but she was dangerously weak after that. She could hardly eat and slept quite often. But Victor never left her side."

"One morning, while Elena was sleeping in her hospital room, Victor had told me was going to go out and get some fresh air and asked me if I would stay with his mother. I agreed and stayed behind. After about 30 minutes, Elena started to go into the shock out of nowhere. Her vitals and breathing spiked and I pressed the emergency button for help. Nurses and doctors rushed in, giving her oxygen and attempting to get her vitals under control. But nothing was working."

"I stood by her bed and felt her weakly grab my hand. Her final words came out in a weak whisper but they were still so clear. I could still make them out even with all of the commotion."

"'Tell Victor I love him...'"

"That was it. Her body couldn't stand to fight anymore as it gave out. The drawn out beep on the machine echoed in my ear from the once slow sound of her heartbeat. I looked up to see Victor in the doorway, a vase of flowers in his shaking hands, tears streaming down his face as they announced her time of death."

"May 10th, 9:48 AM." 

Yuuri almost couldn't breathe. That explained... everything. The reason why Victor has been acting the way he has...was brutal. Torturous. Something no one should have to experience.

Victor's mom...had passed away.......on Mother's Day. 

And he hadn't been there to say goodbye...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Annnnnd cue the tears 😭...
> 
> And I'm so sorry ! This is sort of like a cliff hanger because we aren't quite done with Victor's backstory as there's still a little more to tell since this chapter was realllllly long. 
> 
> But don't worry, I have happiness coming soon. I promise.
> 
> But that's it for now everyone ! And I will be back tomorrow with Chapter 5 ! We're almost done !
> 
> Thank you for reading ! Bye Byeee !!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hii everyone ! I'm back with Chapter 5 
> 
> So like I said at the end of chapter 4, this chapter is continuing Victor's back story on May 6th and also completing May 7th where Yuuri finds out some news. 
> 
> I have something to remind you guys of at the end, but for now, hope you enjoy !!!

Wednesday, May 6th, Yu-Topia, 1:50 PM

Everything made sense. Absolutely everything. But it was so unbelievably horrible that Yuuri didn't want to believe any of it.

Victor had lost his mom on Mother's Day and he wasn't there to say goodbye to her. He had gone out to by flowers, unaware of the events that would take place while he was gone as Yakov stayed by her side. 

Yuuri had thought Victor was just sad...but it was SO much more than that.

Pain, regret, anger, remorse.....and guilt.

So much guilt.

But a throat clear from his phone caused Yuuri to retreat back from his thoughts. He almost forgot that he was still on call with Yakov.

"So...uh...what happened after that ?" He asked. Though the question sounded dumb, he wanted to know.

Yakov gave a short humph, as if he was think about his next words, " Well...ever since day...Victor has never been quite the same. Especially around this time of year. The weeks following her death were some of that hardest times for him."

"Naturally, I took Victor in. He had no other family around to stay with and I knew Elena wouldn't have wanted anything less. I was technically his father figure as he grew up so I didn't see a problem with it. But it was difficult...seeing him so upset. Especially with how much more familiar I was in seeing him happy than sad." 

" I would hear him cry in his bedroom at night and wake up with bloodshot eyes that had the darkest bags underneath. He didn't eat much. He wouldn't talk much either. I had thought about getting him counseling but he kept denying any help I offered and said he would be fine on his own."

"One night, I came home from a meeting a little later than usual. I was expecting Victor to be asleep...but I came home to find him in my living room. And it was the worst I'd ever seen him."

Yuuri broke into a sweat after hearing that last sentence, "W-what was he doing ?"

Yakov sighed, "He was sitting in front of the TV, watching the recorded clip of his first interview that I told you about. And he was crying...with a pair of scissors in his hand...cutting off his hair piece by piece. It was then I noticed that it was only a certain part of the interview he was listening too. The part where he said he wanted to be like his mother was put on in a repeating cycle, and each time he heard it, he would cut a piece of hair."

Yuuri put a shaking hand to his mouth.

"It's was almost like those words were a sin. I noticed before that he would sometimes grimace when he looked in a mirror or he would purposely wear his hair in a bun or tuck it into the shirts he wore. He had grown out his hair for Elena while she was still alive and wanted to be like her in everyway possible. But now that she was gone, it was almost like... " Yakov trailed off but Yuuri understood and finished Yakov's sentence.

" ...it hurt Victor to look in a mirror and see so much of her...in himself."

Yuuri had remembered the first time he had seen Victor with shorter hair. He had thought it was just for a new look....but oh how wrong he was.

Yakov hummed in confirmation," I watched him sob and cut off piece after piece. But eventually, I was able to walk towards him and bend down to his level. I turned off the TV and took the scissors away. He looked at me with the same eyes Elena had the day Alexandr died, and simply collapsed in tears into my chest. I'm usually not an affectionate person, but...I knew he needed it." 

"Victor slowly got better after that. He returned to the ice, and though slightly rusty, he still delivered everytime regardless of everything that happened. I think he realized that he still had to uphold the promise he made to his mother. To do what she couldn't. And he definitely did so with every performance he gave and each victory he obtained." 

"He soon was back to himself. Of course the occasional breakdown occured, but that's normal after losing a parent or any loved one. But nothing is ever as bad then when Mother's Day come around. I always tried what I could, but each year...but the guilt and anguish would just eat away at him until Mother's Day passed. It's supposed to be a day of celebration...but for Victor... it's dark and dismal. And it has been ever since."

Yuuri's brain was running a mile a minute from everything he just learned. But one thing still confused him.

"At the time when Victor's mother died...he was already pretty famous in the ice skating community, but I didn't hear anything about it. Why wasn't there any news on Elena's passing ? Surely the media would have picked SOMETHING up."

Yakov's reply was quick, " Victor made sure that didn't happen. During competitions when he was younger, Elena had told him that she preferred for her face not to be plastered all over news articles and TV broadcasts. Victor had remembered this, and privately threatened that if any potential paparazzi, news feeds, or media account reporters grabbed hold of what happened, he would have his lawyer take action immediately. He didn't want any rumours and lies to be spread around about Elena. So he kept her death a secret in exception for a few people. We also held a very small memorial for her with those chosen individuals as well, but nothing too grand to cause a scene or grab attention."

Yuuri sighed, "I...I can't even begin to wrap my head around this. I mean I can see why he didn't tell me, but....why go through this ? All by himself ? The only reason you know was because you were THERE. And yet he was still closed off with you." 

"I think," Yakov started, "Victor needs someone who understands. Someone who believes in him. Someone he knows he can always have support from. It's very difficult for him. He lost the most important person in his life in the most tragic way possible. The person who he trusted most in his life. So I believe it will only take a person just as trustworthy in order to truly help him. And...I think that person is you Yuuri. It's certainly not me....I lost that trust a long time ago."

Yuuri was confused, " What do you mean ?"

Yakov sighed, " About a month after Elena died, I was going through some of her things and I found an envelope with Victor's name on it. I had opened it up and there were several photographs of her and Victor inside. Along with a note to Victor that was dated about two weeks before she died. I'm not sure if she was going to give it to me to give to Victor or if she was expecting Victor or myself to find it some day. But regardless...it was written for Victor so he was definitely supposed to receive it. But..."

Yuuri swallowed, "But what ?"

"I..." He heard Yakov grimace, " I never gave it to him. The photos nor the letter. I kept thinking it was only going to cause him pain and horrible memories...so I kept it instead. Probably the biggest mistake I ever could have made."

Yuuri shook his head even though he knew Yakov couldn't see it, "No. It's understandable. You were watching out for Victor's well being. He was broken after his mom died...and you didn't want to further that break. He had gone through enough."

"Yes, but he deserves to see it. The note and photos are the last memories that I believe exist of him and his mother. But there's no way I could face Victor now out of all times and give them to him. Especially after I kept them a secret for so long. It painfully complicated...since I'm almost gurarenteed that there must be something important in that letter..."

"You didn't read it?" Yuuri asked.

"No. I couldn't bring myself to. It's for Victor's eyes only. It's none of my business." 

Yuuri didn't even need to think, "I'll give it to him."

Yakov was silent which made Yuuri slightly nervous, but he still continued.

"You said so yourself that Victor needed somebody that he could trust and understand him. I'm his husband and mate. I made a vow to help him through anything and everything. I love him with all my heart and I want nothing more than for him to be at peace with what happened 11 years ago. I don't want this to eat away at him any longer. He was a good son and he needs to realize that."

Yakov still didn't say anything, allowing Yuuri to say even more, but his voice was breaking.

"I know I can help him. I NEED to help him. Honestly...I'm starting to think I know how...but in order to do that...I need those pictures and letter. He'll have to know that they're from you, but with some explaining, I doubt Victor will be mad. This has to be done. I can't see him go on like this Yakov, and I know you don't want to either. Nothing will change unless you agree to this and give me your consent. Please..."

Tears rolled down Yuuri's cheek "...help me get Victor back."

Silence still rang through Yuuri's eardrums, but finally Yakov's voice rose through his phone speaker. His words make Yuuri's heart skip a beat.

"I'll send everything through express mail . You should get them the day before Mother's Day. I trust you Yuuri... and I know Victor does too. Let me know how everything goes."

Yuuri smiled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "Of course. Thank you...Yakov."

*𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘱

Yuuri sighed and laid down flat on his bed, nearly a million things running through his head at once.

He finally knew...everything. And for some reason, he felt super excited, nervous, happy, anxious, and sad all at the same time.

There's no doubt that saying about how the "truth hurts" is real. It does hurt...in a lot of strange, different ways.

But casting all emotions aside, he needed to think. 

A needed a way he could portray to Victor that he didn't need to feel guilty about what happened. A way to show him that he would always be there for him no matter what. Something that would tell Victor that Yuuri would always keep him promises and that he could trust him with everything. 

All the while incorporating Victor's past and the photos and letter Yakov was going to send to him. 

How could he connect all of that...?

He then thought about his and Victor's past and their connections. How they grew together and built a relationship that could never be broken. 

Well...that happened because Victor saw the video of him skating to...

That's it. 

Skating.

Or at the very least...portraying a message through the ice. 

If there was anything Yuuri was good at, it was sending a message through his skating. The season when he first met Victor was practically dedicated to that. 

But he needed something else... maybe...

Yuuri bit his thumbnail while scrolling through his contacts and phone numbers. The contact he was looking for met his vision and he immediately tapped on the call button. It rang only twice before a familiar voice met his eardums.

"Yuuko...? It's Yuuri.....no I'm fine...uhm, I was actually wondering if you could help me with something...?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, May 7th, Hatsetsu Shopping Center, 5:15 PM

"Really, Mom it's okay....you don't need to feel bad. I'm almost done here and then I'll be home.....yes. Love you too....see you soon."

Yuuri sighed at put his phone in his pocket snd continued walking down the aisle, looking for the right bag of rice that his mom uses to cook with.

To Hiroko's horror, she had forgotten to put rice on the shopping list for Toshiya and Victor the day before and had planned on making Katsudon for dinner. But you can't have Katsudon without rice. 

Yuuri didn't want his dad and Victor to go out again, so he offered to go instead. The shopping center was only a 15 minute walk away from the onsen and Yuuri thought it would be nice chance to get some fresh air. Of course Hiroko felt terrible, and Yuuri had to shrug it off more than once to convince her that it was no big deal. 

"Here we go..." Yuuri murmured to himself. He scanned the shelves until his eyes met the familiar brand of rice that his mom always had in the kitchen. With a satisfied smile, he grabbed two medium sized bags and placed them in his shopping basket before turning around, making his way to the check out. 

As he walked, he began to think. 

Yuuri had called Yuuko the day before after talking to Yakov. He gave her a brief description of his situation and she had pushed forth alot of ideas for him in coming up with a plan for Victor for Mother's Day.

This was no where near a celebration, but more of a "Everything is Okay Now/You Did Your Absolute Best" gift. 

They had come up with some pretty good ideas...but Yuuri still felt like it was missing something. And Victor had come home from shopping before he could figure out what.

Yuuri temporarily shoved his thoughts to the back of his mind as he reached the checkout, but just he was about to enter a lane, he began to feel...strange.

His body had suddenly broken out into a cold sweat and he felt his stomach do a backflip. His head became very fuzzy and...

Oh no.

This feeling was familiar and Yuuri knew EXACTLY what it was as he looked around frantically, his eyes searching for...oh thank God.

He walked as fast as he could without causing attention to be casted upon him with a hand over his mouth straight into the men's bathroom, leaving his shopping basket at a sloppy angle near the entrance. 

There wasn't anyone in there and he was glad for that, because as soon as he entered a stall, he collapsed to his knees and gagged into the toilet, his body ridding itself of everything he had eaten that day and probably the night before. 

He could feel hot tears leak from his shut eyes with every convulsion of his stomach and painful dry heave. His ears were ringing by the time he was done as he leaned back against the wall of the bathroom stall, ripping off a piece of toilet paper at the same time to clean his mouth off. 

After tossing the soiled paper into the toilet bowl, Yuuri slowly and shakily rose to his feet, the world slighty swaying underneath him. 

He flushed the toilet, the water returning to it's original clear form and tredged out of the stall to one of the sinks. 

He cupped his hands, filling them with water from the tap and moved them to his lips. His cheeked were puffed as he rinsed his mouth of the acidic taste of vomit, before spitting the water down the drain. He grabbed a paper towel and wiped his mouth again, VERY confused about the events that just occurred.

What the hell ? He was totally fine a 5 minutes ago. The last two days even. He thought he'd gotten over being sick...and why was it hitting him NOW ? It had been in the morning before, so why so randomly in the evening ? 

Not only that, but he felt sore again. And all of a sudden, very tired. Like his body got the life sucked out of it. His back was tense, shoulders ached, and his head still felt very cloudy.

Maybe he was just having some extreme pre-heat symptoms. Some suppressants and pain pills should do the trick. 

Luckily, medicated products were right near the front, so after exiting the bathroom, he simply turned to the right into the correct aisle.

He scanned the shelves, supplies and medication ranging for both females and for omega's. Menstrual products, pain pills, suppressants, masking sprays, and -

Yuuri stopped.

There was a variety of small boxes that caught his attention, ranging in price and quality. The picture and name on the boxes grabbing his attention the most. 

He put the pieces together on how he had felt the last few days. The nausea. The vomiting. The aches. The pain. The fatigue. And...how quickly they would come and dissapear.

Now, really thinking about it...were these really symptoms of an upcoming heat ?

Yuuri's eyes were wide as he hesitantly, but successfully, grabbed a box with skating hands and placed it in his shopping basket. He then turned around and walked very unsteadily to the checkout.

No...this was something else entirely.

*𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗽~~~~~~~

Yu-Topia, 8:00 PM.

Ok, his parents and sister were busy closing and cleaning up the onsen for the night and Victor was in the shower. 

Now is the perfect time. 

With quick, quiet movements, Yuuri grabbed the small plastic bag he received from the store that he had hidden in one of his desk drawers as soon as he got home. ( Which he remarkably did without causing any suspicion.) 

He could feel the corners of the small rectangular box against his palm as he gripped it, carefully making his way down the hall to the other bathroom with great haste. 

Once he arrived, he twisted the worn golden knob of door and open it, stepped inside, and shut the door behind him. The tips of his thumb and index finger then twisted the tiny middle knob of the door handle into a vertical position.

Perfectly locked. 

Now he could finally do his business.

But this was unlike any business he had ever done. 

Yuuri didn't think he had ever been so anxious to use the bathroom in his entire life.

He had set the plastic bag on the counter, it's single content still inside. 

With an attempted calm breath, Yuuri opened the bag and took out the box on the inside. He then lifted the tabs of the box, taking out an object that was cleanly wrapped in silver and blue foil. He ripped that off as well, a fully unwrapped piece of long, white plastic now meeting his gaze. 

After a quick read of the instructions on the back of the box, he sighed, putting his hand on the waistband on his sweatpants. 

"Ok...No turning back now."

*𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗽~~~~~~~( 𝟯 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀 )

Yuuri sat on the ledge of the bathtub with his head in his hands.

Oh how he wanted to go back. 

The white stick was practically taunting him as it sat faceup on the counter of the sink, the important part of it not in line of sight. 

He had about another minute or two to wait. 

Too long? Not long enough? Yuuri had no idea. 

He had so many things running through his head that he didn't know what to think. 

He honestly didn't know if he was thinking at all. 

Was it the anticipation or the results freaking him out more ? 

Both probably. 

He was scared, nervous, dizzy, nauseated, breathless...

But...laying deep underneath all of that...was curiousity, want, and above all...hope. 

Yuuri pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time

There should be something by now. 

His legs felt like feathers. Like they would blow away from underneath him as he took the few steps he needed to take towards the sink.

Which a clammy hand, he picked up the stick, examining the tiny, circular indentation near the center of it. 

His eyes went wide and his other hand went over his mouth.

"Oh my God..." He whispered.

It was strange, but in that moment...the fears and anxiety he had before vanished into thin air. 

They were replaced with excitement, bewilderment, shock...and love.

Tiny air filled laughs were leaving his mouth as salty, hot tears of happiness ran down his flushed cheeks. 

He was happy. So very happy.

And he hoped HE would be happy too...

But then...Yuuri paused. 

This was it.

This was what he needed. 

This was what was missing.

This is the the final thing that would put Victor's heart to rest...and let him know he did everything he could. That he did everything RIGHT. 

Yuuri wiped his eyes and tear stained cheeks, then immediately after, he fished out his phone from the back pocket of his sweatpants and opened up his phone to his app section. 

He entered a browser and typed a few words in the search bar. Then he pressed the forward arrow to give him his search results. 

The first option given displayed a phone number. He tapped on the icon with the tiny image of a phone which sent forward a call, quickly putting his phone to his ear.

It didn't take too long for a receptionist to answer. 

"....Hello ?....Hi. I was wondering if you had any open appointments ?"

...

...

...

"My name is Yuuri Katsuki."

...

...

...

He smiled, "Tomorrow would be perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I'm not sure if you guys can see (or read) but I kept the news Yuuri found out sort of vague in description for a reason so I hope you guys can decipher what's going on. 
> 
> But another reminder is that there will be no new chapters for the next 2 days ( think of it as Yuuri planning and putting his "surprise for Victor into action ). I will not be going into description of that until the LAST chapter which will be on the 10th of May. 
> 
> One more chapter to go guys ! I can't believe it ! Everything comes together and you will see what Yuuri has in store 😉.
> 
> But for now, thank you all for reading and I will see you guys on the 10th ! Bye Byeee !


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Annnnnd here we are with the final chapter ! I worked really hard on this so I hope you all enjoy !!!
> 
> Song: Footprints in the Sand by Leona Lewis  
> ( lyrics and Victor's dream in 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙯𝙚𝙙)  
> ( Elena's letter in 𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥)

Sunday, May 10th, 6:00 PM, Yu-Topia

𝘿𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨

𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙚.

𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙛 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙨𝙠𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙣𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩.

𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙮𝙚𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙗𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙗 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙛 𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙠.

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙠...𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 ? 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 ?

𝙃𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙥, 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩, 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧.

𝙒𝙖𝙞𝙩. 𝙇𝙤𝙣𝙜 ?

𝙉𝙤, 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩. 𝙃𝙚 𝙘𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙜𝙤.

𝘽𝙪𝙩...𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚. 𝙎𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠. 𝙃𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚

𝘼𝙣 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙪𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨. 

"𝙉𝙤...." 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙, "𝙣𝙤...𝙥-𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚...𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚...𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙨...𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙨...𝙄 𝙘-𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩...𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣..." 

𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙬𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙤𝙗𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙡𝙮. 𝙃𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙. 𝙏𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙧𝙖𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚, 𝙗𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙖𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚, 𝙬𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙥𝙞𝙚𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙧 𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙗𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙩.

𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙙𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩...𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙝𝙞𝙢. 𝙒𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙩 ?

"𝙑-𝙑𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧...𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙...𝙮-𝙮𝙤𝙪...?" 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚, 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙙...𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙝 𝙨𝙤 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙧.

𝙃𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙪𝙥. 𝙃𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙩. 𝙏𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙞𝙩. 𝙏𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩.

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙣𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙.

𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙜𝙖𝙯𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥𝙤𝙣 𝙖 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨. 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙, 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙮 𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨. 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙞𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨. 

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙡, 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 

𝙎𝙤 𝙥𝙖𝙡𝙚. 𝙎𝙤 𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙡𝙚. 𝙎𝙤 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜.

𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙪𝙖𝙡.

𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠, 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙟𝙖𝙬, 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙨𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙥𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙨, 𝙥𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨...𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙖 𝙛𝙤𝙖𝙢 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙮.

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚. 𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙡...𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙬𝙣. 

"𝙈-𝙈𝙖𝙢𝙖..." 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙.

"....𝙬𝙝𝙮...𝙬-𝙬𝙝𝙮...𝙙𝙞𝙙...𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚...?" 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙡𝙮.

"𝙄...𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤-" 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝.

" "...𝙮𝙤𝙪...𝙡-𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩...𝙢𝙚"

"𝙈𝙖𝙢𝙖.....𝙣𝙤..𝙄.."

"𝙔𝙤𝙪...𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩...𝙢𝙚..."

𝙃𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙮, 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙜.

"𝙈-𝙈𝙖𝙢𝙖. 𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚....𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮..."

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙝𝙞𝙢. 𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣. 𝙎𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙛 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙣𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢. 

"𝙔𝙤𝙪...𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩...𝙢𝙚"

"𝙎-𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥...𝙈𝙖𝙢𝙖...."

"𝙔𝙤𝙪...𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩...𝙢𝙚"

"𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙥..."

"𝙔𝙤𝙪. 𝙇𝙚𝙛𝙩. 𝙈𝙚."

"𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋."

"𝙔𝙊𝙐. 𝙇𝙀𝙁𝙏. 𝙈𝙀" 

"STOP !"

Victor's body jolted with pulsing adrenaline, his eyes popping open as he quickly sat up in bed.

He clutched his shirt with his fingers, chest extremely tight. He breathed deep, trying his best to calm down as a his other hand pressed itself against his forehead.A nightmare. It was just a nightmare...for normal people at least.

Victor had been expecting it. He'd been waiting for that in-sleep horror story to shock him out of his slumber for the last week. 

It was a nightmare he ALWAYS had this time of year. An exhausting, horrible, haunting, painful reminder that...

He gave a shaky sigh that was followed by a angered, airy laugh. 

Good God what a mess he was. 

Why did that day have to haunt him? Why did his mind go into a black oblivion whenever he thought about it? Why...did he convince himself over the last 11 years that he would be able to come over this on his own ?

Victor had pushed away those who tried to help him. At the time, he believed help was pointless. This was his own wrongdoing so how on Earth could someones help change that ? He was the one that left. He was the one that could have done more. 

He was the one that let her down.

Him. And no one else. 

But now...if he had gotten help, would he still be suffering ? Would he still regret his decisions ? Would he finally be able to get through this day without crying ? 

He would never know. It was too late. He didn't have the courage to bring it up now. 

And that made him feel terrible. Ashamed. And so, so guilty. 

Because a certain someone should know. 

It's only natural that the love of your life, your mate, the person you vowed to spend the rest of your days with, should know your past. 

But he didn't. Yuuri had no idea about Victor's life beside the aspect of his skating. Nothing else.

And Victor nearly hated himself because of it. 

He was such a good omega. Sweet, kind, nurturing, and oh so beautiful. He told Victor everything he was feeling or anything that bothered him. But Victor didn't have the power to return the favor.

He wanted to...so badly...but he just COULDN'T. 

The Russian male sighed, turning his head to look at Yuuri laying asleep beside him.

Only to find his side of the bed empty.

How did it take so long for him to notice that ?

Victor had been drained ( mostly mentally ) after teaching his skating classes with Yuuri that day.

He was so happy Yuuri was feeling better and the children were estatic when he had come back on Friday, albeit a bit late since he claimed to Victor he had to run a few errands before the class began. But nonetheless, he showed up, thrilled to be back. He wasn't as active on the ice as he usually was during classes though. In fact, he had stayed on the sidelines quite a bit, but Victor paid no mind. It was probably best to start back up slow after how sick he had been. 

That left Victor to do the demonstrations and physical aspects of the lessons over the last 3 days, and so the combination of teaching, coming up with plans for classes, the secretive, emotionally draining week he's had, and doing his best to keep a smile on his face through it all, had him completely warn out. 

When they got home, Yuuri suggested for Victor to take a nap. He didn't think he was going too, but as soon as a combination of his head hitting the soft pillow and Yuuri joining him on the bed, running his fingers through the silvery strands of his hair was created, Victor was out like a light. 

Yuuri had been next to him when he fell asleep...so where was he now ?

Victor slowly lifted his heavy body from the bed and stood up on legs that felt like they were made of thin, bendable wire.

The evening sun cascaded hues of orange and golden yellow in their room, illuminating a small, white piece of paper on Yuuri's desk. 

Victor picked it up with his still slightly numbed fingers. There were a few words written on it in what he recognized as Yuuri's handwriting.

𝘔𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱.

Victor's heart strangely clenched in his chest and his breath hitched when he read the last three words.

𝘉𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘬𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴.

*𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩~~~~~~~

6:20 PM, Hatsetsu Ice Castle

Victor was beyond confused as he opened the doors to the Ice Castle skating rink. 

Yuuri had left while he was sleeping, leaving behind a note saying for Victor to meet him at the rink. 

And Yuuri wasn't one for doing things out of the blue like this, so it made Victor nervous with worry. His brain shoved several thoughts forward of what could possibly be wrong. 

But when he saw Yuuko standing at the counter, his worry slightly melted away.

"Y-Yuuko ? What...?"

She gave a sweet, tiny smile. "Yuuri's waiting for you...put on your skates and head onto the ice."

Victor didn't say anything else and just simply nodded, walking to a bench near the counter. 

He sat down and quickly laced up his skates, his heartbeat thumping in his ears. Then after slipping on his guards, he stood up. 

Yuuko was nowhere to be seen.

Victor's pressed his lips together.

This was very strange. But he obliged to what Yuuko had told him moments before and headed to the ice. 

There had been lights on in the front, but as he got closer, the amount of light had diminished significantly. Soon it was almost completely dark, save for a collection of tiny, golden fairy lights that had been attached to the inner walls of the rink. They sparkled and winked in contrast of the white of the icy ground, allowing Victor to make out a few more details. 

He could see a trail of rose petals scattered along the ice, leading to what looked like tables covered with white table cloths that were placed in a smooth zig-zag fashion. He could see that objects were placed on top of them, but they were too far away to make them out.

Now that his curiosity was more than piqued, there was only one way to satisfy it. 

Victor used one hand to balance himself on the rink wall while removing the guards from each of his skates, setting them down on the floor. 

He looked up and placed one bladed foot on the ice and pushed his body forward.

As soon as he did, the soft, meliodic tune of a piano began to play in the background, followed by female vocals as he slowly skated up to the first table.

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚  
𝙁𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙  
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙄'𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜  
𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚  
𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙪𝙣𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣  
𝘼𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮

Victor's eyes moved over the surface of the table, inspecting the items that lay upon it. There were more rose petals scattered over the top, a tiny candle burning with a soft yet bright glow...and a few different pictures that made his heart jump into his throat.

He reached out a shaky hand to pick them up and bring them closer to him, studying them more closely.

Victor gasped, his other hand going to cover his mouth.

The first one was a picture of a woman that looked exactly like him but with longer hair and more delicate features. She looked to be standing in front of a curtain, clad in a dark blue, lacy dress. Her gaze was casted downward to stare at the large mound of a heavily pregnant tummy with hands pressed against the surface, sparkling adoration and love present in her eyes. 

The other photo was the same women but this time she was laying in a hospital bed. Her hair was slightly disheveled but she was still so beautiful as she held a tiny bundle in her arms, smiling down at what was inside. A tiny baby boy wrapped in a blue blanket with whispy, silvery hair sticking out of the the hat on his head with pale skin and chubby cheeks. 

Victor caressed the women's face in the picture with his index finger...

He missed that face. 

He missed that smile. 

It had been so long since he had really seen it...but he could never forget it.

He could never forget the face of his mother.

𝙄 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙖𝙮  
𝙄 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬  
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧  
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙  
𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙

Victor slowly skated to the next table decorated the same as the last...the only difference was the picture.

He picked it up and looked at the image, a breathy laugh leaving his lips despite the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

Though it was such a long time ago, he remembered this day so vividly. 

The picture consisted of his mother ice skating whilst holding onto the hands of a little boy no older than 8 years old. Their bright blue eyes were open and bright with excitement, heart shaped smiles wide with what he remembered as laughter.

That had been the first time he ever set foot on the ice...and his mother had been right there to witness it. 

He fell in love with skating that day because of her.

𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚  
𝙁𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝 𝙖𝙘𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙠𝙮  
𝙎𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙄  
𝘽𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙤 𝙖𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙  
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄  
𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙮  
𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙣  
𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙖𝙮

Victor arrived at the next table and peered at the photo laying before him.

Him and his mom with huge, happy smiles as Victor held a bouquet of flowers in one arm with the other draped around his mothers shoulder holding her close. A strap hung around Victor's neck with a large, golden circle at the base. 

He choked back a sob.

This was the day Victor had one his first gold metal.

He had been so happy that day. And he remembered the proud look in mother's eyes when he came to her after his performance. 

That was something she always was when it came to Victor.

Proud.

𝙄 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙  
𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄'𝙢 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙮  
𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚  
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙖𝙮

He arrived at the last table that had no flowers or candles or any type of decoration.

There wasn't any room...

Because the entire surface was...completely covered with pictures. 

So many different ones from different points in his life that he had experienced...

...all with his mother

There were some when he was an infant and little boy. Some where he was older. 

Some showed he and his mother dancing and skating together on the ice. Others with him just holding her close. 

There were also ones of her doing his hair for competitions. 

He used to love it when she did that. The feeling of her fingers running through his hair was always such a comforting feeling. He could sometimes still feel her doing so, weird as it was. It was that vivid of a memory. 

He missed the feeling of it. It was calming. Soothing...and she was the only person who could really do it right.

Well...until Yuuri came along. 

Victor never let anyone else touch his hair, especially after he cut it...but that day when Yuuri had poked him on his part...

Of course he played it off as a joke, scaring Yuuri silly when he collapsed into a heap on the ice...but really, the touch had reminded Victor so much of his Mother. 

Victor had only ever found that comfort in her...but Yuuri coming into his life was nothing short of a blessing.

His touch and his mother's. Different. Yet so similar at the same time.

𝙄 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙖𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧 

"Vitya..."

And his voice. Soft and sweet...just like his mother's had been. 

Victor looked up and could see someone emerging from the gold tinted darkness. 

It was Yuuri.

Victor couldn't hold back any longer.

He rushed over to his husband. His mate. His love of his life.

And let the tears fall.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙  
𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙

"Y-Yuuri...." Victor choked out.

But the Japanese male didn't say anything.

Instead, he smiled and handed Victor a small envelope that was slightly yellowed with age. 

With a nervous gulp, he accepted it with shaking fingers and slowly opened the tab of it, taking out what was inside.

Another photo from the looks of it.

But when he turned it around, his breath hitched in his throat.

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙖𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧

It was the only picture he had seen that contained his mother all by herself in a portrait like fashion.

Yes the picture with her pregnant with Victor was her by herself as well, but she had her face down and eyes nearly closed so it wasn't the same.

But this photo. This one was new. And simply beautiful.

It was his mother, but she looked like angel.

She wore a lacy, white dress with pearls scattered across the boddess and around her neck as a necklace. Her hair was lighty curled and flowed down her back and across her shoulders. A glittery, white vail sat on top of her head and flowed out to her sides, stopping at her waist. She wore very little makeup, but it was enough to enhance the blue in her eyes, the pink of her cheeks, and the glossiness of her lips that were pulled into a graceful smile. In her hands, she held a bouquet of blue and white baby's breath, white stargazer lilies, and baby blue hydrangeas. 

Victor couldn't stop the hot tears from rolling down his face.

This photo was a treasure. A beautiful moment captured by the click of a camera of his mother on her wedding day.

He hadn't seen her full faced with beauty and happiness in so long. 

It was like she was right in front of him.

Like she had never left.

But…

Victor broke from his trance when he felt a hand on his cheek and looked to his right.

Warm, chocolatey eyes that were shiny with tears as well met his gaze, causing Victor to clench his teeth as more tears fell from his own eyes. 

Yuuri put his hand on Victor's waist and pulled him close, letting Victor's body rest against him as it shook and trembled against his own. Yuuri could feel the tears soaking his shirt as Victor let out the gasps and broken sobs that he had been holding back for the last week. 

He stroked his hair, rubbed his back, and pressed featherlight kisses to his temple. His scent gland was tingling as Victor nuzzled against it, probably longing for the the soothing effect it had on him.

The song he picked spoke true as the final lyrics echoed in his ear while he continued to hold Victor close, shushing him and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙  
𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙

It was awhile before Victor separated from Yuuri, but even when he did, he was still only a nose's length apart from him. 

His eyes and nose where red from crying and the tears weren't entirely gone. But he was definitely more calm than he had been several minutes before.

Victor attempted to speak, but it was broken with slight hiccups from his crying, "Y-Yuuri...how...w-what?"

"I know..." Yuuri smiled, "You're probably confused. But.. I had to find some way to help you."

Victor stared at him with an expression longing for more details.

"I...I knew something was going on, Victor. You tried your best to act like you were okay, but I knew you weren't. Every time I tried to ask you what was wrong you say you were fine...but you tensing up, when your hands would shake, or when your eyes would go wide and lose their sparkle...it worried me."

Victor grimaced, looking away. But Yuuri grabbed his face to prevent him from doing so.

"But it was okay. Because it meant I needed to do something. I had to help you. No matter what. So I...got some help from a few friends."

"I talked to Yurio first...but then he recommended that I talk to Yakov since, well...he's one of the only ones that knows everything right ?"

Victor nodded, staying silent.

"So...I did, and he told me everything. Things about your dad, you, and...your mom. That for the last 11 years... you've suffered from the emotional pain you went through with her every week before Mother's Day. He told me how much it hurts you, how much regret you have...and how guilty you feel because of what happened."

Yuuri caressed Victor's cheek, "Is that true ?" he whispered.

The Russian male shakily sighed in defeat, "...yes...it is."

Yuuri's eyes widened slightly as Victor spoke."...ever since that day...I felt as if I made a huge mistake. I didn't notice she was sick until the day she told us...and I was so angry with myself. She always noticed how I was feeling...and yet I could never do the same for her. She was always...my hero in a way, and I never thought anything bad could happen to her. But I guess I was wrong."

"I was...aware she didn't have much time left. So I did my best to make the time I spent with her worthwhile. I did my best to take care of her...like she always did for me. But she was slowly disappearing from me Yuuri...I was losing her...and... I didn't want to admit it."

"That day in the hospital...it's haunted me even to this day. She was fine...she was completely fine when I left. It was Mother's Day...and she was stuck, terribly sick in a dull, white room. So I wanted to get her some flowers. They were one of her favorite gifts to receive on Mother's Day."

"I'd never regret something I'd done more than leaving her that day. Because when I came back...she was...a-and I w-wasn't there to.."

Victor's voice broke again as more tears spilled over the edges of his eyes and ran down his cheeks, dripping onto the ice below. But he was able to whisper something almost unintelligible.

"I-I'm a terrible son."

Yuuri had heard it, and he could feel his heart clench tightly in his chest. 

It was horrible that Victor had felt that way for so long. Not being there when his mother took her last breath had permanently and painfully bruised him.

But he wasn't a bad son.Yuuri knew that for sure.

"No," he said firmly, yet his voice was still soft, "You aren't."

Victor sighed, " Yuuri-"

"I'm not going to stand here and let you say something that's not true. Don't do that to yourself Victor. I know you weren't a bad son, so does Yakov...and so does your mother."

Victor looked at Yuuri with slight confusion. 

The Japanese male moved to reach into his pocket, talking as he did so, "Yakov also told me something else and I'm not sure if he mentioned anything to you...but a couple weeks after your mother passed away, he was looking through her things and..."

Yuuri pulled out a white piece of paper, "... He had found an envelope that contained all of those pictures," he gestured to the tables on the rink, "and this note. He was afraid to show them to you, thinking that it would have made you more depressed than you already were so he hid them for you in concern of how you would react. He didn't want to put you through more than you already been through. So I asked him to send them to me so I could give them to you instead since...I think it's important for you to have them now more than ever and..."

Yuuri handed the piece of folded paper to Victor, his next words coming out in a whisper, "I don't want you to feel guilty anymore Vitya...and I hope that whatever this says shows you that you don't need to be."

Victor ran his fingers over the piece of paper, reaching an edge to begin unfolding it. After doing this a few more times the full piece of paper was in his view with a lengthy letter on its surface. 

But the handwriting. Small and neat. Letters looping in some places. 

He recognized it immediately as his mother's handwriting. With a shaky sigh, he began to read.

𝘔𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘝𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳,

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳

𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘦. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵...𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦.

𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦.

𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦y 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴. 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘺...𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘝𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴.

𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳.

𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘔𝘢𝘮𝘢

Victor couldn't see through the tears that clouded his vision. His body trembled and his eyes burned...

But he finally felt...at peace.

He looked up at Yuuri to see him staring at him with great concern, but that soon changed to shock when Victor threw his arms around him and buried his face in his neck. 

Yuuri froze from the sudden action, but his arms looped around Victor's backside, one hand going up to place at the base of his neck, fingers slightly in his hair. 

He could hear Victor sobbing apologies into his ear. 

"I'm sorry... I-I'm sorry I didn't t-tell you. I'm s-sorry."

Yuuri ran his hand up and down Victor's back, tears now burning the edges of his eyes as well, "Shhhh...no Vitya. Don't apologise. I understand. It fine...don't worry... everything is okay now....at least...I hope it is..." He murmured the last part in a worried whisper, but Victor still heard it. 

He pulled away from Yuuri, and was relieved that despite everything, Victor was smiling. And...it was a real one.

Victor wiped his eyes, " Of course it is. After... everything you did for me...to help me..." he caressed Yuuri's cheeks with his hands, " How could everything not be okay ?"

Yuuri chuckled as Victor brought their faces together, lips connecting in a sweet, loving kiss.

Their scents combined with each other, creating a sweet, minty aroma that engulfed the air around them. It was a warming feeling to have each other in their arms with no distress or worry to be found.

Just romantic, passionate, and comforting bliss.

But there was still one thing Yuuri had to do.

He put his hands on Victor's shoulders, gently pushing him away to break their kiss. 

Victor looked at him, confused, "Are you okay, Yuuri ?"

The Asian male smiled, "Yes. I'm fine. But...I have one more thing I need to give you."Victor tilted his head to the side, "What is it ?"

"Okay uhm....get on your knees for me so that you're level with my stomach."

Victor raised an eyebrow, but obliged to Yuuri's wishes and lowered himself onto his knees right in front of Yuuri's midsection."Like this ?"

Yuuri nodded, "Yes. Perfect. Now...o-one second."

Victor could see Yuuri take his phone out from his pocket and lift it to his face. He tapped around on his screen before lowering it to the side of Victor's head. 

The Russian male peered at the screen. It looked like he was going to play a video. Which is exactly what he did.

In the beginning, Victor heard a few hushed voices and some jostling around. He looked up at his husband.

"Yuuri-"

"Shhhh." He interrupted, "Just listen."

Victor put his head back down and closed his eyes, listening to the video. There was nothing to be heard for a few more seconds until...a rather strange sound emerged from the speaker of Yuuri's phone.

It sounded like drums...that were being played underwater. But with some other distinct sound to it.

He couldn't quite...wait. Was that...?

He looked up at Yuuri again, who was simply smiling with sparkling eyes.

"D-do you hear it ?" He asked.

Victor had a look of disbelief on his face...but he shook his head, his lips forming into a smile. He could feel his eyes begin to water with tears...but this time, they were happy. 

He was still on his knees as he pulled Yuuri's body closer to his by his waist, burying his face into his tummy, smiling, laughing, and pressing kisses to it's clothed surface. 

Yuuri had his hand pressed softly to the back of Victor's hair, running his fingers through it as tears ran down his cheeks as well. 

The noise from the phone was still playing in the background, echoing in their ears.

But it was such an uplifting sound. It was a miracle. A light...in all of the darkness over the past week.

It made Yuuri smile when he first heard it at his appointment.

It made Victor smile when had needed it the most.

It made both of them smile as they held each other close.

That sound...was a heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that's it ! Omg guys this chapter was 5,000 words ! But it was so worth it in the end. 
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this story. I had so much fun writing it even though I cried a few times 😉
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I'll see you guys next time. 
> 
> Happy Mother's Day !
> 
> Bye Byeee !!!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Annnnnd that's chapter 1 everybody ! I definitely plan on this being a longer story, maybe around 2,000 to 2,500 words per chapter so I have my work cut out for me. 
> 
> But you won't have to wait long since chapter 2 will be out tomorrow with more information about what's going on with Victor. It's going to get good, I promise. 
> 
> And it's my first time using Russian in a fanfic so 'moya lyubov' I believe means 'my love' correct me plz if I'm wrong 😅. 
> 
> But next chapter is coming tomorrow so I will see you guys then. Thank you so much for reading !
> 
> Bye bye !


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